Required Reading

Required Reading about Finding Love in Russia, The Ukraine and Beyond. There are so many facets to this effort or adventure you are either in already or plan to embark. Hopefully you will learn many things from these pages and this page is an important one.

Introduction

There are so many details and issues related finding the woman of your dreams from a foreign country, so hopefully my experiences will help you to understand everything related to this process. Be forewarned, if you are one of these keyboard Romeo’s with no set goals or a desire to an end result, you will be wasting your time and your money. These woman are very intelligent and it will not take long for them to spot guys who are just playing games. These women are very serious in their intent and I can assure you that many of them either know each other or they are probably friends and the word spreads quickly if you are just playing games with them.

Darja Petuhova

Are These Ladies for Real?

If the women you are communicating with are associated with one of the larger agencies, then yes, these women are very real and are as beautiful as their pictures suggest, and in many cases more beautiful than their pictures. I will also tell you that they are very serious in their intentions to find the love of their lives. There is one particular agency site which provides the ability to “chat” live with these women and in many cases they will be on a webcam. I will discuss these sites in more details on the Links page. I will mention something about this site and the “dancing ladies.” There are certain women on this site who love to jump up and dance on the webcam and to my mind these ladies are not serious about a relationship and more interested in performing on the camera by teasing you. It’s very possible these ladies are serious and they just have an outgoing personality with lots of energy. The bottom line is you need to have your goals and priorities in place and know exactly what you are seeking.

A Bird in the Hand May Not Apply Here

The old analogy of “A Bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” may not apply to finding your soulmate in the FSU. I have been very close to so many ladies just to have it all unravel that it somewhat makes you wonder if it is all worth it. Well it is worth it and you need to understand that just when you think you have something locked up with a lady, it can end in an instant for a number of reasons. I will give you a prime example of one of my experiences. I met a lady from Lithuania some time ago. She wrote to me first and I liked her immediately and we exchanged several letters over about a 6 month period and without warning she asks me my feelings about possibly moving to Lithuania. I asked her why and she said that she loved her career as a college professor, her family, her friends, and her country and she had no desire to give it all up to come to America. It seemed that when we became close to the point of her coming to America she looked at her life and what was important. Love was very important, but, there were far more things in her life which became more important. So, since I was not in a position to move to Lithuania, we wished each other the best and said our good byes. I have many more experiences like this and almost all of them were different reasons. A couple of them the woman just up and disappeared and/or canceled their memberships. My beliefs on those examples is that they met someone in a tour or another man she was communicating with beat me to the punch.

My point on all of this is, you are far better to have as many ladies as you can possibly handle as you can be certain that a lot of them will fall out, but, you must understand the nature of this and to not take it personally. These women clearly know that you are communicating with many other women and they hope you understand that they are communicating with other men. This is clearly a numbers game and it is unfortunate that you and these ladies get hurt, but, it is reality. I will tell you that every time I felt I lost “The One” six other women took her place. I am a firm believer that things happen for reasons in our lives which direct us in our “life’s journey.” I never regret spending the time getting to know these women as I know each one is just another step to my final goal.

What About Scams?

A number of years ago “Mail Order Brides” as they were once known, did have a problem in the early time lines, as there were “people” posing as a woman seeking a husband in America. With the growing interest and dedicated people in the business, this quickly changed. This is not to say that the possibility of a scam still exists as I myself started to communicate with a lady on one of the agency sites and shortly after I started communication with this woman her profile was marked as a scam and she was black listed throughout all the agencies in Russia and the Ukraine.

Today, most every “legitimate” agency acting as a support liaison for these women have very strict rules for the ladies to even be involved, and for these ladies to even have access to the web. It is very rare that any of these ladies would have access out to the web much less a computer in their homes, so they rely on these agencies very much to assist them. In most cases with the larger agencies, they require that a woman physically go to the agency with their passports and photos to post and the agencies do additional verification to validate the ladies going online into their system.

Is it still possible for a scam to happen? Sure it is. Just think of the number of scams that happen in this country on a daily basis. The good news is these agencies can live and die based on the legitimacy of these ladies and there is a global ‘black list” which they continually check when new ladies are signing up. I get harassed daily from men as much as women who are friends, who believe this whole “Russian Bride” thing is nothing but a scam and these women are “looking for a ticket to America.” When I hear this sort of attitude towards my effort I just ignore it as these people are clearly not informed and no matter what you say to them they will have doubts. Just remember, if YOU believe in finding your soulmate from a foreign country, then that is all that matters.

One final note or tip on this issue. It is VERY easy to spot a scam over a legitimate woman from the FSU. A woman who is truly looking for her life partner WILL NEVER ask you to send them money. I have even personally “offered” money to a couple of ladies to help them for something like the purchase of a mobile phone and they just flat refused it. If a woman from the FSU asks you for money for ANYTHING it’s a scam and you should report it to the agency who she is involved with. A huge red flag is when a “woman” asks you to send her money for a plane ticket for her to come and see you. Well I can assure you that with all the laws in place, especially after 911, it is virtually impossible for a woman from the FSU to enter the USA unless she is married to you or here on a fiancé visa.

The Costs Involved

The costs to communicate with these women varies per site as they all seem to have their model on how this should work. I will discuss the specific sites and how they work with my recommendations on the Links page. In general you will be paying for getting letters to them and paying to receive them. These fees pay for several things:

  • Translation of your letter into Russian or Ukrainian or what ever other variation of the Russian dialect.
  • Translation of their letter when they respond to you.
  • Access to the web for the ladies to search chat and email.

Various support services costs as these agencies typically remain open 24/7 due to the time zone differences and many of the ladies can spend up to 10 hours in an agency.

Again, I will discuss the individual agencies on the Links page and will provide specific recommendations based on my experiences. I will warn you that on the sites where you post your profile along with pictures that once your profile goes live and if you have written a good one you will start receiving letters almost immediately, a lot of letters and you need to keep in mind when you just “read” a letter you will be charged for that letter. You will need to be focused with goals clearly in place as the temptation is very high to open letters from young beautiful women, some of which may not be what you are seeking. Remember that in a sea of temptation it will be very easy to loose sight of your intended goals. For me it was hard in the beginning to not open the letters from these very beautiful women as I did not want to be “hurting their feelings” but you need to understand that they will not be offended as they fully know the costs you are incurring. The good news one of the agencies has put together a great program in that you can open every letter for free, send 30 responses for free and 50 introductions for free with a Platinum Membership which is about $50 per month. When you consider that most agencies charge you $6 to $8 per letter to open or to send this program is structured very well to my mind. Trust me, if you are serious, it will be very easy to send and receive 20 to 40 emails/letters per month! Update 2009 – Currently I’m receiving, on average 900 letters a month, every month and actually it has become overwhelming. The agency mentioned above has actually implemented several features to help protect me from the onslaught of letters.

To Tour or Not to Tour

Another way to meet these women is in a face to face encounter and since they can not come to this country, you will need to travel there. Many of these agencies put together complete air and land packages where you will have a chance to meet these women during “socials.” One of the agency sites was actually involved with a movie specific to men traveling to Russia to find a bride. You will find it under two names for some reason as I believe there was some sort of naming issue due to a previous movie made many years ago “A Foreign Affair.” You can also find it under the name “Two Brothers and a Bride.” It was filmed partially in Saint Petersburg Russia. The premise of this movie is two brothers after their mother’s death travel to Russia on a tour to find a Russian Bride. I believe due to the popularity of Russian and Ukrainian women, this movie has turned into some sort of a cult movie.

The benefit to taking one of these tours is you will meet a lot of women face to face in a very short period. The downside is you are only taping into a very small cross section of ladies from just a couple of cities and again temptation will come into play in a major way as these women are extremely beautiful and very serious, so you could end up spending approximately $3,000 to $5,000 for the tour package plus the cost of private dates and possibly an interpreter and by the time the tour is over, you may not be any closer to your goal. But, in the end, you will certainly have a fantastic time and it will permanently change your feelings about ever wanting to date American women again.

My feelings on this issue is to communicate with as many women as possible through these agency mailing services and try and pin down a select group of ladies which may be your top 10 and if they happen to reside in cities where tours are being offered, use this mechanism to somewhat finalize your choice. You can also arrange your own travel as the local agencies in Russia and The Ukraine are very, very helpful and they will assist you with hotels or apartments along with restaurant choices, etc. I have had first hand, direct experience with a couple of these local agencies and I can not say enough about their helpfulness and their desire for you to be successful in finding the woman of your dreams.  In May of 2009 I did travel to the Ukraine. I did learn a lot and in the end I probably spent as much as if I was on one of the tours. I’ll speak more about my trip in an upcoming post or page.

Is That It?

Well for the moment and when other important topics arise, they will be discussed in as much detail as possible. So, you may want to check back from time to time for new things of interest. 

Practical Advice for the World of Foreign Brides